Father

Deep in slumber,
Cradled in the heart of darkness,
The silence parts to cellular music
Inviting me to awaken
And dream no more.

From the far side of the planet
My sister’s soft voice
Conveys in tones and pauses
An immensity
That mere words cannot capture:

Our father has died. 

Alone in my bed I breathe:
Slowly and deeply in, filling my chest with the promise of life;
A pause then, as I consider my destiny
And the gap between my dreams and waking life;
And finally release, as I surrender to the moment:
Broken, empty, and utterly spent.

As the tears begin to pool
In eyes that search the ceiling, the heavens, the stars,
For answers to an elusive, lifelong quest
I blink and the rivers begin to flow
For my father, for me,
And for each precious, sacred child
That dares to dance and sing
With its heart split wide open.

And as the rivers flow
I know that I am loved
That I have always been loved
And that this chest is being hollowed out
To contain even more love, more tears, more joy
Than I have ever known or can know.

Where the rivers meet the sea
The Earth is soft and pure and clean
And our footsteps leave their temporary imprints
On the sands of time.
 
Father, when I was young you always led the way
Discerning the trail that would carry us to the mountain’s top -
Our next adventure, our continuing quest -
And I was glad to follow.

Again you lead the way
But here on the beach
We walk side by side
With the luminous Nazarene ahead
Beckoning us forward

And as we are met
His embrace enfolds us
In a peace that blossoms from deep within -
A soft explosion of white rose petals
That gently settle and carpet our hearts
With the fragrance of love.

Placing his holy hands upon my shoulders
He looks into me with loving eyes that pierce my every defense
Then holds me again as his unspoken message sinks in:
I can follow no further,
It is time for me to return.

As he takes your hand and turns to lead the way home
You glance backwards with tears of joy
Streaming down your stubbled cheeks,
With the light of love shining in your eyes,
And smile at me.

At last I turn to face our footprints in the sand
While gentle waves dance and foam along the shore
Washing away every trace of our passing.

I love you, Father
And I receive your love:
A love for which there are no words:

Unconditional, unbounded and eternal.

In loving memory of my father, William L. Scott
December 26, 1935 – December 2, 2009

Half a world away
The veil of night fades into a pale gray dawn
And electronic news that it is done:
You have crossed the bridge of light.

A circling pigeon tests the morning air and
Recalls a vision from the depths of slumber
Enfolded in the mystery of a time and place beyond my ken.

Golden hair and satin gown unfurls
As the wind fills your wings and lifts you free,
Ascending along the arc of a dream
Into the infinite blue and the light beyond.

As you soared out of sight
You gifted the wind a reminder of your silent ascent,
A single white feather that floats to the ground
Reminding me to trust the immensity of the sky
And the rush of wind that urges me to spread my wings
To their fullest span and spiral up into amaranthine heavens
In the unbounded joy of flight.

- In memory of Zaneta Matkowska